Who IS This Person?!?

Today was my first day back to work following an AWESOME week of family vacation at Cape Cod.  The week was super fantastic for so many reasons - quality time with my family, beautiful weather, private beach access, fun activities, and plenty of fresh, delicious seafood.  But one of the most amazing things was that I spent our swimming sessions in a bikini.

Yes, you read that right - I wore a bikini for essentially the first time in my life (I can't honestly recall if my mom ever put me in one as a toddler or whatever).  This is the same woman who has worn a cover-up at the pool or beach since I was in middle school... who chose swimsuits with skirted bottoms starting in high school... who bought matronly, unflattering one-pieces every time I need a new suit, in an attempt to be as inconspicuous as possible.

But this year, something changed.  The Body Positivity movement has really taken off, and even though I'm still struggling to embrace it fully as it applies to me, I have certainly begun to appreciate my body more, and to believe that I'm not "disgusting," as I once thought.  I'm totally over being ashamed of how I look, or worrying about how others are viewing me, because I have more important things to focus on.

And while my body might not look like a supermodel's, I'll tell you something - my body grew two humans, gave them life & fed them, and that is BAD ASS.  And now those two little ones are watching me every day, learning from my attitudes & beliefs, and I certainly do not want to teach them to be embarrassed of their own bodies.  I want them to know that it's ok to wear whatever they're most comfortable in, and that it doesn't matter what anyone else has to say about it.  And I also want them to look back on those memories we're making and see a happy, emotionally healthy mother :)

What I found most interesting about this whole experience is that I actually felt MORE COMFORTABLE in this bikini than I used to in my tent-like one piece with the attached skirt.  I thought I'd be more self-conscious, or want to stay wrapped up in my towel, but I tossed my cover-up aside and walked right down to the water to play with my boys.  And unlike before, when the excess material swarmed around me in the water, or took forever to dry out, or drew extra unwanted attention, my bikini was a non-issue.  I think I'm officially a convert, y'all - it only took me 30 years, but I'm finally entering a phase in my life where I'm accepting myself as I am.