Fat is Not a Dirty Word

I've been overweight my whole life.  No, seriously, I mean from day 1 - I was almost 10 lbs at birth (sorry, Mom!), and I've been heavy since then.  As a child, I thinned out a bit, as must kiddos do, but when puberty hit, the weight came right back!  Part of it is just my body type - no matter how much weight I lose, I would never be a skinny person, I have a large frame.  And a large part of it is that I have PCOS, a disease which causes hormone fluctuations and insulin resistance, both of which lead to weight gain.  So, even though my weight has fluctuated over my lifetime, I'm definitely destined to be a big girl.

Growing up, I struggled a LOT with my body image, my emotional state regarding my weight, and confidence issues.  Even as an adult, I've hated to look in the mirror, because I don't like what I see.  But, recently, the Body Positivity movement has gained a lot of momentum, and it's really made me think...  I should be PROUD of my body.  It gets me where I need to go, and it allows me to experience the smell of fresh cut grass, the sight of my sons playing together, the feel of my husband's loving embrace.  My body grew, birthed, and fed 2 beautiful children, and that is pretty freaking badass!  And yet... I see myself as "not enough," because my body is bigger than what I'm told it should be.

"Fat," in and of itself, is NOT a dirty word.  Society has attached a negative connotation to it, and, with the help of the diet industry and media outlets, convinced us all that it's basically the worst thing you could be.  But, really?  It's an adjective, people.  Nothing more.  Little kids in kindergarten spout off their opposites: stop/go, up/down, short/tall, big/small, skinny/fat.  At some point as we grow up, our peers teach us that "fat" is an insult.  Think about it - if I said to you, "oh, man, my hair is so brown,"  you would probably reply with some comment about liking brown hair or ask if I was thinking of dying it, or continue the conversation some other way.  But if I said to you, "oh, man, I'm so fat," the instant response would be, "no you're not, you're beautiful" (or something like that, depending on our relationship, lol).  NEWSFLASH - fat & beautiful are NOT mutually exclusive!  Being labeled as fat shouldn't be perceived as an insult, or as something to be assured I'm not.  It should simply be a descriptor, one which accurately tells someone what I look like.

To be fair, I struggle with this topic, too - I'm not saying anyone is a bad person if they do what I described above.  Honestly, it's society's problem, which we need to change through discussion & exposure.  Body Positivity is a concept I am working REALLY hard to learn & accept for myself.  For everyone else?  I'm 100% on board with it.  I see models on the Lane Bryant facebook, or fierce, fabulous fat girls walking around, or blogs & articles on this topic, and I am nothing but enthusiastic.  It's just taking some hard work for me to get there for my own body.  But it's important, and I'm determined to get there - and, more importantly, to teach my children a better way :)