Praying for Patience

Yes, I did just post a quote from "Twilight."  And no, I'm not sorry - those books may be an embarrassing stain on the otherwise awesome genre of Young Adult Fiction, but this particular quote is 100% accurate for my current situation.  I feel like I'm at a junction, with too many potential paths laid out in front of me, and I am at a loss for figuring out which I should take.  There are pros & cons to each choice, with potentially life-shattering consequences for not just me, but my kids and my family, too.  And, since I am currently SUPER overwhelmed with the anxiety, stress, guilt, fear, etc that accompany this choice, the only thing I can do is wait - give it time for things to calm down a bit, so I can see the issue more clearly and address it with a logical, open mind.

The thing is?  I've never been great at waiting.  I have no patience, and I struggle to keep calm when I can't instantly do what I want/need to do.  This applies to little things, like asking my son to put his shoes on (though, to be fair, I always work VERY hard to pretend to be patient, so that I don't hurt his feelings or his outlook on life), to bigger things, like rushing to get engaged, then get married, then have kids - I'm the kind of person who is always looking forward to the next thing, making plans, deciding the future right now & sticking to that choice.  Being in this place of not-knowing is REALLY hard for me!  The lack of control freaks me out a LOT, makes me anxious and scared.  I want to move forward, take the next step, get stuff done... but I can't.

I'm really, really trying to worry less and to focus on the present: what can I do today to help make this choice later?  I'm spending my energy on enjoying my days with my sons, and on strengthening my relationship with God, and on trying to let life come to me, so to speak.  I pray (a LOT.  Like, every hour, it seems) for guidance, and wisdom, and peace... but mostly for patience:

Dear God,

I pray for patience.

Please send to me

the spirit of Your peace.

Please give me a strength

to live my life.

Amen.